A Letter To The Old Me.

Dearest Pre-baby-belly-big-butt-bigger-waist-line me,

Your life is about to change.  Drastically.

Take a look at your inner thighs.  Right now.  Pull down your pants and look. 

That will be the last time you ever see them without stretch marks. 

No matter the amount of Cocoa Butter cream you put on em’, the stretch marks are coming. 

Sorry buddy.

Go get in bed and sleep.  Heck, sleep in tomorrow morning.  Lay in bed all day long and be lazy.  Watch CSI marathons like it is nobodies business.

Enjoy this luxury.  It will be gone forever when your little munchkin finally makes his appearance.

Go to the store.  Walk around.  Soak in the fact that you will never ever do that by yourself again.  From now on when you go shopping, you will be totting a wild child who likes to strategically throw his sippy cup at items on the shelf, just to see how much he can knock down.

Enjoy your pregnancy.  You are going to miss it when it is gone.  You are going to miss feeling your little guy judo chop your ribs and tap dance on your bladder. 

Your labor is going to suck.  Horribly. 

Again, sorry buddy.

FYI: Your nurse will turn your epidural off 10 minutes into pushing.

FYI: You will push for two and a half hours.

Really really sorry about that one.

It is all worth it in the end though.  You will hold your son, you will cry the first ‘happy tears’ you have ever cried in your life.  You will know why God put you here and that God has indeed had a plan for you all along.  You were just too stubborn to see it. 

Go kiss your boyfriend.  He’s about to be your fiance’ and you’re about to hear the best two words you’ve ever heard your gynecologist say to you: “You’re pregnant.”

Oh, you marry him too.  The fiance, not the gynecologist.  He’s a pretty amazing husband, you’re a lucky girl.

Adios girl.

Love,

ME or is it YOU.. or would it be US? 

Who knows.  We don’t know.

The Unexpected Mother